So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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