if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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