My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize