it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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