Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Randomize
