This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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