Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
