Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
and she was petting her beer can
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
