I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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