the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
