did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
