I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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