im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
