There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
