i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
