is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
