the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
