i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
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