yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
