If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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