yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize