did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
