Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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