Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
she told me i tasted like america
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
