And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize