So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize