I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
