Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
