i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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