belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Randomize
