He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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