I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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