so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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