he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
