some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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