Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
