I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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