we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize