Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
