drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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