The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
We're too hungover to prance.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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