i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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