in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
