3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
