I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
