I'm eating all of the evidence.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
