Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
