i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I'm both gender and math confused
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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