So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
