he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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