My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
