Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I party with great urgency now.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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