Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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