I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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