i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
