these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
