I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize